22 July 2004( Life and time is running out)

 My old own self disappear into another world.   I have no feeling sometime and i am lost in my world..Who can help me? No one except me. But i cannot give me myself a chance anymore. Time is running up. I am very tired to face the reality anymore. Life is so miserable with no dreams and spirit and motivation. I am so slack and i think this is the end of my damn life. Retributions are here already for me. I have to accept it. This all fated for me. I am now good-for-nothing. It is true. I am now what i deserve.

I am no more me anymore

Who i am?

Where are my dreams

The End is here>

Time to play the Game and Here come the Pain!

Time to Play the GameTime to Play the GameTime to Play the Game
It's all about the Game, before life can restYour failure is my successIt's all about control, we can make itI will deliver the pain, you can take itI'm in control, I am your painAfter this you won't be the sameThis is my time, I make the rulesYou mess with this and you'll die like a fool
Pain...here comes the painPain...here comes the painPain...here comes the painPain...here comes the pain
Time to Play the Game
I am the debt that can't be paidYour going down in flamesThis is the time I can not loseLive or die you'll have to chooseIt's all about me, I am the oneIt's when you see there's nowhere to runI am the threat that is so realThrough the blood and the sweat the pain you will feel
Pain...here comes the painPain...here comes the painPain...here comes the painPain...here comes the pain
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hideNow it's time to dieLie in the pain I am the GameYou won't forget my name
Time to feel the painTime to feel the painTime to feel the pain Go Time to play the GameTime to play the GameTime to play the GameTime to play the Game Pain...here comes the painPain...here comes the painPain...here comes the painPain...here comes the pain PainTime to play the GamePainTime to play the GamePain

19 July 2004

Today is a new beginning of a chapter. But this chapter start with very bad beginning. I start to think about other things that took off my attention away from lesson..... I need to bury myself in my inner world again and repair what is neede to repair...... I burned my weekend in National Day parade and Ncc day parade on Saturday and sunday respectively. This coming saturday is our northland speech day. Our ncc unit is the guard of honour. Parade commander is our senior cadet lieuteant soffian. Cool sia and northland ncc unit get its third gold unit yesterdayin ncc day parade. It is all the hard work put in by our Co,25 Clts and our cadets from northland.  Well done northland ncc unit. Hooray.... Northland ncc unit.....Gold unit all the way...
 
Pain is temporary
 
Scar and shadow in inner world are forever.....
 
 

15 July 2004( With Great power ....Come with Great Responsibility)

I am a officer of the national cadet corps. A great power in cadets' eye and it definitely come with great responsibility. A cadet lieutenant is a highest rank that a student acheive in Ncc. I went to the clt course and pass out as a clt as a gift from god....... A curse that i will left a lesson learn in me forever......


With Great Power as a leader or hero


Come with Great Responsibility......

13 July 2004( A Gift and a Curse)

Today is a very tiring day. Start at 8am for math practical and then tutorial. Follow up is the damn 5 hours breaks. Sian half. Went to bowl with my friend, kevin and ming feng in singapore polytechnic graduate guild. Did not perform well but my spinning are getting nicer and nicer as someone praise my spinning skill. It is being half year since i bowl already and my aim skill deteriorate with respect of time. I have spent my 1st 3 months in Yishun Junior College in bowling club. This is where i pick up my bowling skill. I am now going to train my fitness and my bowling skill back. Then finally went to the research and development course, extra module.......untill 7.45pm I reach home at 8.45pm.What a tiring day. This past few day, i realise that going to clt course is a gift and a curse to me especially something happen in the course. A gift that i become a clt and the curse is i make a silly mistake which carry down in my life forever.

A Gift?

A Curse?

MAybe both?

10 July 2004

Due to the stupid NDP, once again i cannot go camp feast. What f**k is this....Now i also to begin to develop my bad temper back. This is because of stress and unhappiness build up. I am going to be a bad-tempered sadist. This is the pain i wanna to inject to other people for the suffering of me. I am damn pissed off with the damn world and declare i hate the world....


I am the Game !

I am that damn good !

Screw me if u dare !

07 July 2004

Today went to lesson for only 2 hours. Start at 11 end at 2 inclusive of a 1 hour break. I went to polytechnic by my dad's car. From Yishun to Dover, it took me only 20 mins. So fast as my dad was driving fast. Reach there and none of my classmates were there. Boring.... Sit there alone like a fool. Look at all the newbies. I sat at the mac for 10 mins. Then my friends came. Go for mathematics lesson, the teacher give us briefing about what she expects. Then one hour break, i went to foodcourt to have a fruit salad as it is my diet list now. I am going to lose weight and train to be fit. After break, i went to the Basic Instrument Analysis Lecture. Mr Ho, the lecturer is a very funny guy. He was a ex-singapore polytechnic student and he was from chemical process. After his lesson, i went to queensway alone to buy a portugal jersey. I stroll and browse around for the jersey. Finally i get a good price for the portugal jersey for $75. Cool but never buy with figo name one... Sad. Anyway, the whole Portugal team rulezzzz. After that, i call my dad and he was around the area. So he drove and sent me home. Yeah, a portugal jersey, it is my first jersey.....

05 July 2004

Portugal lose the final to greece. Oh no! I lose $90 last night....What the heck....Never mind, just like donating to charity...By the way, today is the start of my 2nd year of my poly life. More modules and more requirements. Stress sia. I began to lose interest in life. I began to think about her whether she is alright.I lose myself in a death end. I cannot move nor proceed on for my life. I am really struck here. No one help me with my problems. My sins and retributions by God. I am a sinner and i deserve it.

Lost interest in my lifE

Dreams shattered

Retributions are here

Game Over for me

02 July 2004

This is what i do for my 2 month holiday....

29 May-31 May Woodgrove Combined Camp
3 June-5 June NorthBrooks Camp
6 June Central Trainfire
9 June Nss Training
18 June Central Trainfire and 47th CLT pop
21 June-23June Nan Chian Camp
26 June NDP training in swiss cottage
30 June Syf Duties
1 July SAF & NCC DAY plus nss training...
3 July SYF Duties
4 July NDP Training...
9 July-11 July Camp Feast Phase 3(Maybe last Camp for me this year liao)

Hope portugal will trash greece in the Final..... Portugal Rulezzzzzz.....