19 November 2004( Game Over?)

I notice a change in me. What i am now is moulded by fate and the environment. My character into a cocky and problematic person. This is all fated. I care about her and she give me cold shoulder. What u want from me. I am oversenstive and jealous. So what! I dunt care now. Why my fate and my life turn up to be like this? I hate my life and dunt bother to care about anybody. Just know that i really want to live in a world of beautiful music. I no longer believe in true love and really give up alot of her. Every night. thinking how should i face her and talk to her. What she do and say left a very deep impression in my memories. I really miss and love you.

This turn out to be this ending where you really hate me to the core. The ending in the fairytales will never come true for me. Why does the fate have to change me in this way. I am really tired of this thing liao. Why chances left me hopeless and disappointed.

My emotions and feelings

As i feel that my emotions are quite unstable most of the times. Therefore, this is the blog i will kept my feelings and emotions. The address is http://silence-love.blogspot.com/.

07 November 2004

This few days, spend most of time playing Fifa 2005 football game. I play as a manager and i build my own team and my reputations as a successful manager in the market. I learn how to manage a team from its morale, facilities, finance, training shedules and many more.....
Yesterday, went to orchard to have dinner with my relatives. We went to a chinese restuarant to have our dinner. Sian they order alot of food and i cannot finish at all. There are so many food on the table. Steam fish, ceral prawns, sharp fin soup, sea cucumber with mushroom, vegetable and even crabs. I hate crabs. After the dinner, went to shop and see my stuff.

As i plan to buy and change the following items:

Change my watch to a pair of Swatch Watch

Change my converse bag to a QuikSilver Bag

A pair of Adidas shoes

Change my phone to Nokia 7610

A new Laptop

A driving Licence(Coming On the Way)

Wow so many things to purchase, wait till christmas, should can get most of the things

Ultimately, my wish is that she forgive me and can speak up to her.

06 November 2004

Finally finished my examinations. Yesterday paper was difficult. Nevermind, just forget about it and think ahead. I am too tired to study and pursuit my studies liao. I need a good rest from studies. I need someone who care about me. Guess no one care about me. I wish to sail through calm ocean to in search what is called freedom and true love that i think it exist in this world. Sacrifice something even ur life for ur loved one if necessary. It may sound stupid but is noble. I am very tired about this type of avoiding in the school. But what should i do? Time may heal and hopefully into beautiful ending just like the fairytales. But i doubts so.......

Yesterday message her and try to call her to speak up. She did not answer nor message me. Is the end of our friendship. I hope is not. Maybe the time is not right yet. Let us cool down for another 1 month.

Monday is my first day of attrachment in Jurong Island. Have start preparing my Basic Theory test which is next week. Hope can pass then take the practical lesson. As my parents promise if i enter into NUS or NTU, my parents will buy me a second-hand car... Yeah but it is just a second hand car. Must also study in the jurong island and a lot of assignments and quizzes ahead in the attrachment. Must try my best to communicate and work with other polytechnics in the attrachment. I hope i will have a good start in CPTC......KK...sIGNING OFF

Things are meant to hard and tedious

Determination are there to break it

04 November 2004

Now having bird's nest for supper. My mum made this specially for me as i having coughing for about 3 months. Last paper tml. Cp5008 Heat transfer and equipment. After examinations, is the time to speak and call her. I hope she will forgive me. I really no intention to hurt u but hope u are happy and dunt avoid me. I am thinking about u every night and miss ur smile and face. U are my source of strength. Really miss bickering with u and talking about common topics.

U are my everything...

Please dunt leave me alone.....

Love is only a word but it express how much u meant to me.....

03 November 2004

Today process instrumentation exam was quite difficult. Counting down to 2 more days exam finish and i can settle the problems between her and me. Hope i can sucessful gain back the trust of her. I promise i will cherish u even better and hope u forgive me.....

i do cherish u • for the rest of my life • u dont have to think twice •• i will love u still • from the depths of my soul • its beyond my control • • ive waited so long to say this to u • if ure asking do i love u this much • i do •
• in my world before u • lived outside my emotions • didnt know where i was going • • till that day i found u • how u opened my life • to a new paradise •
• in a world torn by change still with all of my heart till my dying day...

I really cherish u

Without u my world will not be complete.....

2 November 2004

It is about 23 days that i have not speak to u. I really wish to speak to u and spent my time together with u. But i am avoid u and u are avoiding me in school. I hope that i can face u directly in school and tell u how important u are to me in my heart. I do cherish u. Please forgive me.

Here without u is painful

I miss u

Really wish to spent all my time with u regardless of anything....

The reason is u......

Here without You---3 Door Down

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time
that
I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
andI don’t think I can look at this the sameBut all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face
I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreamsAnd tonight it’s only you and meThe miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say helloI hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we goI’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mindI think about you baby and I dream about you all the timeI’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreamsAnd tonight girl it’s only you and meEverything I know, and anywhere I goit gets hard but it won’t take away my loveAnd when the last one falls, when it’s all said and doneit get hard but it won’t take away my loveI’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mindI think about you baby and I dream about you all the timeI’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreamsAnd tonight girl it’s only you and me